How to Boost Your Fertility

If you're like most couples who are trying to conceive, you want to get pregnantsooner rather than later.

Having intercourse as close as possible to ovulation  definitely helps. But fertilityexperts say there are other ways couples can boost their fertility. A few simple measures may make the next month the month you'll squeal: "We're pregnant!"

See When You're Most Fertile During Your Monthly Cycle

1. Her Fertility Booster: Weight Control

Being underweight or overweight can delay the time it takes a woman to conceive.

William Gibbons, director of the division of reproductive endocrinology and infertilityat Baylor College of Medicine, says weight before getting pregnant is often an overlooked factor in fertility. Keeping a healthy weight can help with conception.

In onestudy, researchers evaluated the body mass index (BMI) of 2,112 pregnant women. Women in the study who had a pre-pregnancy BMI of 25-39 – considered overweight or obese -- had a twofold increase in the time it took to get pregnant. A BMI less than 19 (18.5 to 24.9 is considered normal) is even worse, the researchers found. Time to conception was increased fourfold in women with a BMI below 19.

Gibbons tells women to stay at a healthy weight when trying to conceive.

2. His Fertility Booster: Protect Those Sperm

According to Dale McClure, president of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the idea that changing to boxers instead of briefs will boost fertility by keeping genital temperatures down is basically an old wives' tale. Earlier studies seemed to point to boxers as the better choice, McClure says. But more recent studies haven't shown a major difference.

What about exposing the testicles to other sources of heat? The American Society for Reproductive Medicine says controlling temperature doesn't play much of role in boosting fertility. Some doctors, though, recommend staying away from certain sources. For instance, sitting in a hot tub day after day should be avoided, McClure says, even if a man has no known fertility problems. In at least one study, repeated exposure to high water temperatures through hot tubs or hot baths was shown to affect men's fertility.

Still, no research has clearly shown a link between exposure to other sources of heat and a man's fertility. One study did show that scrotal temperatures went up in laptop users who held the computer on their laps and warned that long-term exposures to high temperatures could harm sperm. Another study found that exposure to radiation from cell phones could adversely affect sperm that had been collected from participants. Researchers in that study speculated that keeping a cell phone in a pants pocket could affect the health of a man's sperm.

While neither study was sufficient to prove that exposure to sources of heat could harm sperm enough to affect fertility, McClure still says a man who wants to be a father probably shouldn't keep his laptop on his lap for extended periods of time. But even considering the above findings, McClure says he is "more concerned about hot tubbing."

3. Her Fertility Booster: Watch the Beverages

Drinking too much coffee or too much alcohol can impair a woman's fertility.

Experts say that drinking more than five cups of coffee a day -- the equivalent of about 500 milligrams of caffeine -- is associated with lower fertility. But don't give up your daily cup of coffee just yet. Moderate caffeine consumption, Gibbons says, seems to be OK. Having one or two cups a day is fine. His advice for women who are coffee or soda drinkers: "Stay under 200 to 250 milligrams of caffeine a day."

Studies on alcohol intake and women's fertility have produced mixed findings. But Swedish researchers have found that women who drank two alcoholic beverages a day decreased their fertility by nearly 60%. Once again, moderation is key. Although higher levels of alcohol -- two drinks or more a day -- should be avoided when trying to get pregnant, there is no evidence to show that moderate alcohol consumption adversely affects fertility.

You will, though, want to cut out alcohol completely once you are pregnant. Drinking while pregnant increases the risk of serious birth defects.

4. Couple's Fertility Booster: Stop Smoking

Smoking cigarettes can impair both a woman's and a man's fertility. Smokingaffects how receptive the uterus is to the egg. And in men, smoking can reduce sperm production and damage DNA. Experts also strongly suggest quitting smoking before you’re pregnant. Smoking while pregnant boosts the risk of miscarriage.

5. Couple's Fertility Booster: The Fertile Window

Taking advantage of what doctors call the "fertile window" can boost your chances of pregnancy. The fertile window is the six-days that end on the day of ovulation. Pregnancy is most likely to occur with intercourse within the three days before ovulation.

Richard Paulson, chief of the division of reproductive endocrinology and infertility at the University of Southern California Keck School of Medicine, says that couples often wait until the day of ovulation or later to have intercourse. But if you really want to get pregnant, “Err on the early side,” he says.

Paulson also advises keeping close track of ovulation -- either by the calendar method, figuring ovulation occurs about 14 days before the menstrual period is due, or by using an ovulation predictor kit, widely sold online and in drugstores.

6. Couple's Fertility Booster: Have Frequent Sex

Delaying lovemaking -- or as some couples say, ''saving up'' -- isn't going to boost the chances of pregnancy, McClure says.

"After about a week, the [sperm] count goes up a bit, but the motility decreases," he says. Not having sex for more than five days may affect sperm counts adversely. But intervals as short as two days don't harm sperm density.

Although daily intercourse produced the highest pregnancy rate in one study, it may pose too much stress for some couples. The same study showed that having sex every other day produced nearly as good a pregnancy rate.

7. Couples Fertility Booster: Choose Lubricants Wisely

With more frequent intercourse, couples may turn more to vaginal lubricants. That's OK, doctors say, if the lubes are picked wisely. Some lubricants can actually decrease fertility.  When you're trying to get pregnant, be sure to avoid products that have spermicidal agents.

So what is a good lubricant to use? "Canola oil," Gibbons says.

"Even peanut oil is good," McClure says. But impromptu household lubes may not be good. "I had a patient yesterday with a great sperm count and no motility [swimming ability]," McClure says. When he asked a few more questions, he got to the root of the problem. "He was using soap for a lubricant," and soap was killing the sperm.

You also want to avoid commercially available water-based lubricants. Water-based lubricants, such as Astroglide, KY Jelly, and Touch, may inhibit sperm motility by 60% to 100%.

8. Couple's Fertility Booster: Avoid Pesticides and Other Harmful Exposures

Exposures to pesticide, especially agricultural pesticides, may harm both men and women's fertility. And exposure to some solvents and toxins -- including those used in printing businesses and dry cleaning establishments -- can adversely affect women's fertility.

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How to Handle Bad Sex

The lights are low. A fire smolders in the fireplace. Two wineglasses sit, half empty, on the nightstand. Your clothes lie in a heap on the floor. You reach for each other. The two of you tumble to the bed, and...

Blah.

No explosions of passion. No breathy proclamations of desire. No tumultuous climax. Then you wonder: How can everyone in movies and romance novels be having fiery, combustible sex when you and your partner barely create a spark?

Sexologist Logan Levkoff, author of the eBook How to Get Your Wife to Have Sex With You, says, "TV shows and movies give us this very skewed representation of what sex is supposed to be like.  Everyone seems to be climaxing and having orgasms all the time from whatever they're doing. When you grow up on a diet of that, and when your real life doesn't match, you think, 'There's something wrong with me,' or, 'There's something wrong with my partner.'"

Real-life sex can almost never measure up to the passion portrayed on the screen, sex therapist Isadora Alman says. "People don't talk about the fact that it's likely that in an odd position you'll pass gas or the love of your life will take you in his arms and have bad breath."

Sex in the real world isn't perfect, and it doesn't always end with an earth-shattering climax -- but it doesn't have to, Levkoff says. "Good sex doesn't necessarily have to be about an orgasm. It can just be an emotionally fulfilling experience between partners."

Getting What You Want in Bed

Even when everything else in the relationship is working, sexual styles aren't always compatible. You like long foreplay sessions. Your partner is ready to go in an instant. You long for wet, sensual kisses. He prefers dry, chaste pecks. "Sex is not just naturally perfect," Alman says. "There is the energy of a new relationship that is positive -- the excitement and the eagerness and the passion. And the negative is that you bump noses or knees because you just haven't learned how to dance together yet."

But even long-term couples can struggle in the bedroom. Though we can easily tell our partner what shirt we'd like him to wear, or what we'd like to cook together for dinner, we tend to get tongue-tied when it comes to the topic of sex.

"People tend to be very sensitive when it comes to talking about sex," says relationship and family therapist Rachel Sussman. "They're afraid of hurting their partner's feelings, so they don't tell them what they like or don't like. But you're not going to get it unless you ask for it."

So how do you tell your partner what you want without bruising his or her ego? "I think it's really in how you bring up the statement," Levkoff says. "'I would love it if we...' or, 'Could we try this?' You don't want to make them feel bad about what they've done or haven't done."

Getting What You Want in Bed continued...

You can have the conversation whenever and wherever it's most comfortable for you. But before you talk, you need to know exactly what it is about your sex life that bothers you. Is it a question of technique? Personal hygiene? Timing? "Once you know what isn't working for you," Alman says, "there are things you can suggest that can mitigate those circumstances."

For example, if something about your partner's smell is turning you off, suggest taking a bath together before making love. If you crave more foreplay, ask for slower segues into sex.

Before you can tell your partner what you want him or her to do in bed, you need to know what you like. "I think especially for women, they've got to explore their own bodies," Sussman says. "You have to masturbate. Get a vibrator. Get some books. Teach yourself how to orgasm."

When It's Just Not Working

After you've tried talking and the sex still isn't working, what then?

"Experiment together," Sussman says. "Learn to get to know each other's bodies."

Try some sex aids. Read books with pictures (such as The Joy of Sex), or watch an educational video together, Alman says. Not porn, but explicit videos in which a voice-over explains what's happening in the scenes.

Sometimes, the problem is a physical one, such as premature ejaculation. Or it may be that the stress from your job is bleeding over into the bedroom and disrupting your sex life. In those cases it can help to see a sex therapist. "We unravel why you two are not getting along," Alman says. "And then we try to remedy that."

If you're still unsatisfied, is it ever OK to fake it in bed?

"If you're faking it, you're doing yourself a disservice because you're not learning what really turns you on," Sussman says. "I think eventually, it takes a toll. Your partner's going to realize that you're disconnected."

Can sex ever be bad enough to consider ending a relationship over? Possibly. "You might really love somebody and the sex is never going to be better than OK. You have to decide whether you can live with that," Alman says.  

Whenever you're considering a breakup or divorce, you need to weigh every element of the relationship and not just the sex. "You can't have everything in life," Sussman says. "If you have a wonderful relationship and you love each other and you have kids but the sex isn't great, maybe you can live with that."

Sussman says that every couple has the potential to have good sex if you’re willing to put a little effort into it. "If you're two emotionally and physically healthy people, you should be able to work with what you've got. Not everybody needs to be hanging off the chandelier," Sussman says. "You can get better. But you have to practice, and you have to be open to discussing it and getting help when you need it."

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Why Do People Have Sex?

Your partner may come up with a dozen excuses to say "Not tonight, dear, I have a ____," but how many reasons can the two of you name for wanting to have sex?

One? Two? Twenty? How about 200? Some college students have cited as many as 237 different reasons for having sex.

From pleasure to procreation, insecurity to inquisitiveness -- today's reasons for taking a roll in the hay seem to vary as much as the terms for the deed itself. A 2010 Sexuality & Culture review of sex motivation studies states that people are offering "far more reasons for choosing to engage in sexual activity than in former times." And we're doing it more often too. It’s a stark contrast from historical assumptions, which cited only three sexual motive: To make babies, to feel good, or because you're in love.

Today, sexual behaviors seem to have taken on many different psychological, social, cultural, even religious meanings. Yet, some sexologists say, at the most basic level, there is only one true reason people seek sex.

Wired for Sex

"We are programmed to do so," sex therapist Richard A. Carroll, associate Northwestern University psychiatry and behavioral sciences professor says. "Asking why people have sex is akin to asking why we eat. Our brains are designed to motivate us toward that behavior."

The idea that humans are hard-wired for sex reflects an evolutionary perspective, according to University of Hawaii psychology professor Elaine Hatfield. "Evolutionary theorists point out that a desire for sexual relations is 'wired in' in order to promote species survival," she says. "Cultural theorists tend to focus on the cultural and personal reasons people have (or avoid) sex. Cultures differ markedly in what are considered to be 'appropriate' reasons for having or avoiding sex."

What's Your Motive?

Why do you seek sex? Motivations generally fall into four main categories, according to psychologists at UT-Austin who asked more than 1,500 undergraduate college students about their sexual attitudes and experiences:

• Physical reasons: Pleasure, stress relief, exercise, sexual curiosity, orattraction to a person
• Goal-based reasons: To make a baby, improve social status (for example, to become popular), or seek revenge
• Emotional reasons: Love, commitment, or gratitude
• Insecurity reasons: To boost self-esteem, keep a partner from seeking sex elsewhere, or feeling a sense of duty or pressure (for example, a partner insists on having sex)

The Difference Between the Sexes

Generally speaking, men seek sex because they like how it feels. Women, although they very well may also derive pleasure from the act, are generally more interested in the relationship enhancement that sex offers. Researchers describe these differences as body-centered versus person-centered sex.

• Body-centered sex is when you have sex because you like the way it makes your body feel. You aren't concerned with the emotions of your partner.
• Person-centered sex is when you have sex to connect with the other person. You care about the emotions involved and the relationship.

  The Difference Between the Sexes continued...

  "Men often start out being body centered," says University of Hartford adjunct psychology professor Janell Carroll. "But that changes later on. As men reach their 40s, 50s, and 60s, their relationship becomes more important."

  Richard Carroll has been counseling couples with sexual issues for more than two decades. "Women actually become more like men over time in that often, early on, sex is about initiating, developing, strengthening, and maintaining relationships, but in a long-term relationship they can actually focus on pleasure."

  Despite these general observations, research also suggests that there has been a big convergence in sexual attitudes among men and women in recent years. In 1985, Janell Carroll and colleagues found that most college-aged males had casual sex for physical reasons without emotional attachments. She repeated many of the same study questions to a new audience in 2006.

  "Instead of men and women being at opposite ends of the sexual spectrum, they are now coming together," she says. "More women might be having sex for physical reasons, but many more men were more likely to say they had sex for emotional reasons."

  20 Reasons People Have Sex

  Stressed out? Have sex. Stress reduction is one of the leading reasons Americans, particularly men, say they have sex, Richard Caroll says. The review, published online in Sexuality & Culture, shows other most frequently cited reasons for having sex include:

  • Boosting mood and relieving depression
  • Duty
  • Enhancement of power
  • Enhancement of self-concept
  • Experiencing the power of one’s partner
  • Feeling loved by your partner
  • Fostering jealousy
  • Improving reputation or social status
  • Making money
  • Making babies
  • Need for affection
  • Nurturance
  • Partner novelty
  • Peer pressure or pressure from partner
  • Pleasure
  • Reducing sex drive
  • Revenge
  • Sexual curiosity
  • Showing love to your partner
  • Spiritual transcendence

  
  

  Why Study Sex?

  Understanding why people seek sex is not always a simple task. Most studies have involved college undergraduates, a "sample of convenience" for university researchers but one that is often very limiting. Young men and women typically haven't been in very committed relationships and are in the process of discovering their sexuality. Their answers to "why do you have sex" are often greatly tied to the image of themselves and their social relationships, says Richard Carroll. This can change over time.

  But such knowledge can improve a couple's sex life.

  "Understanding these differences in motivations is very important. It helps us understand what's going on in the sexual relationship and treat sexual disorders. Very often, you find the source of the problem can be traced to the particular motivation," Richard Carroll says.

  If you need help, you can find a qualified sex therapist in your area through organizations such as the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapist (AASECT) or The Society for Sex Therapy and Research.

  
  

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Pucker Up: Kissing Secrets Revealed

Whether it's your first kiss with someone new or your lifetime partner, kissing usually leaves an impression -- one that lingers long after your lips have locked.

Kissing often plays an important role in relationships. "It fosters romantic compatibility," says Michael Christian, author of The Art of Kissing (published under the pen name William Cane). "The more that people kiss, the more they're able to communicate on a romantic level."

Kirkland Desmond, a software engineer in Tampa, Fla., vividly recalls his first kiss with his wife a decade ago. They were sitting on the couch in her dad's living room and as he leaned over to kiss her, he lost his balance and fell off the couch, pulling her down with him.

"I was so nervous because she was completely out of my league," he says. "So our first kiss happened while we were laughing and 10 years and three beautiful children later, we're still laughing and kissing every chance we get."  

If your first kiss -- or any of the many that follow -- isn't what you're hoping for, talk about it. Many couples hesitate to talk about kissing out of embarrassment, Christian says.

Don't be shy about telling your partner what you like or asking what your partner prefers, he says. Just don't do it while you're kissing, so your partner doesn't take it as a rebuke.

Men's and Women's Kissing Mistakes

Most of us have clear preferences -- turn-ons and pet peeves -- when it comes to kissing styles.

Christian says men's biggest mistake is that they're too aggressive with their tongues. And men claim that women don't open their mouths wide enough.

For both sexes, the No. 1 kissing complaint is lack of variety, Christian says. He recommends kissing the different parts of your partner's face and paying special attention to the ears and neck. He suggests biting softly on the lower lip and nibbling gently on the earlobe.

Make It Memorable

Two keys to a memorable kiss are pleasing your partner and pleasing yourself.

"Put your whole body into the kiss," says Marilyn Anderson, author of Never Kiss a Frog: A Girl's Guide to Creatures from the Dating Swamp. "Without words, your lips should say, 'Baby, there's more where that came from!' There are ways to keep it fresh and new all the time."

She suggests starting with gentle kisses on the neck, move up to the ear, then go to the lips. Take some small breaks and then come back to the lips.

"Here's my kissing tip: Put a hand on your kissing partner's neck," says Pamela Weiss, marketing director in Los Angeles. "It adds passion, like 'I can't get enough.' And let's be honest, that's what makes for a great kiss."

Don't get hung up on what a kiss might lead to. Enjoy it for its own sake.

"A good kiss is deep and soulful and you should feel each other's love through the kiss," says Dan Landau, an engaged graduate student in Bridgewater, N.J. "A great kiss is an adventure in itself, not a stepping point to something else."

Falling Off the Kissing Wagon

Steamy make-out sessions usually happen early on in a relationship, or the honeymoon period.

But later on, when people are in a long-term relationship, they too often stop kissing and lose that intimate connection, says Anderson. In a Redbook poll, 79% of women said they don't kiss their husbands nearly as much as they'd like.

"You've got to keep kissing in the game," Anderson says. "The emotional importance of a kiss is where it all begins and you shouldn't let it go just because you've known someone for a long time."

"When my wife kisses me, it's like she's telling me, 'I love you' without words," Desmond says.

Time hasn't made kissing ho-hum for Landau and his fiancee, either.

"If anything, our kisses are better now than they were initially," Landau says. "We know each other on a much deeper level after two and a half years together. When we first kissed, there were sparks. Now, there are fireworks."   

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Highly Effective Birth Control You Can Count On

How Does Mirena Work to Prevent Pregnancy?

There is no single explanation for how Mirena works; most likely it prevents pregnancy in several ways.

Mirena releases small amounts of a progestin-only hormone (levonorgestrel) locally into your uterus. This is the same hormone that is often used in birth control pills.

Mirena may:

• Thicken cervical mucus to prevent sperm from entering your uterus
• Inhibit sperm from reaching or fertilizing your egg
• Thin the lining of your uterus

Mirena may stop the release of your egg from your ovary, but this is not the way it works in most cases. Most likely, the above actions work together to prevent pregnancy. Like other forms of birth control, Mirena is not 100% effective.

Indications & Usage

Mirena (levonorgestrel-releasing intrauterine system) is a hormone-releasing system placed in your uterus to prevent pregnancy for as long as you want for up to 5 years. Mirena also treats heavy periods in women who choose intrauterine contraception.

Important Safety Information About Mirena

Only you and your healthcare provider can decide if Mirena is right for you. Mirena is recommended for women who have had a child.

• Don't use Mirena if you have a pelvic infection, get infections easily or have certain cancers. Less than 1% of users get a serious infection called pelvic inflammatory disease. If you have persistent pelvic or abdominal pain, see your healthcare provider.
• Mirena may attach to or go through the wall of the uterus and cause other problems. If Mirena comes out, use back-up birth control and call your healthcare provider.
• Although uncommon, pregnancy while using Mirena can be life threatening and may result in loss of pregnancy or fertility.
• Ovarian cysts may occur but usually disappear.
• Bleeding and spotting may increase in the first few months and continue to be irregular. Periods over time may become shorter, lighter or even stop.

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Pregnancy Prediction - Boy or Girl

Couples who are to become parents for the first time are usually anxious to find the gender of their baby. The most common question you hear newly conceived mothers asking is whether it is a boy or a girl? Lots of myths and old wives tales surround this question and couples use all sorts of gender predictors to find out their baby's gender.

You will also find a number of gender prediction quizzes online which are not only fun to fill out, but they also help predict your baby's gender. We have also compiled a list of things and signs you should look for in order to find out your baby's gender. Remember, these quizzes and pregnancy predictors are weird ways of predicting, but they are fun and an exciting part of pregnancy.

Some of the common signs pregnant women can look for when they are expecting are listed below. These signs will help you find your baby's sex:

Low Bump

If your bump is low, you're carrying a boy but if you are carrying high, you'll have a baby girl.

Your baby's heart beat - When you visit your obstetrician next time, ask her to check your baby's heart beat. If the heartbeat is below 140, it is a baby boy, but if it is more than 140 beats, chances are it's a baby girl.

Your Cravings

Pregnant women have all sorts of cravings but if you mostly crave for salty or sour stuff, then it's a boy and if you crave for sweets like chocolates and ice cream, then it is a baby girl. However, health professionals have dismissed this as being relevant to the gender of your baby.

Living together with your partner

Another study shows that couples who live together are more likely to have a baby boy and those living apart will most likely have a baby girl. The reason behind this is associated with frequent sex which gives male sperms a bigger advantage.

Your Stress Levels

Moms who conceive during periods of high stress are more likely to conceive a baby boy because high stress levels increase the level of testosterone in the body which may lead to changes in the egg, allowing easier penetration for male sperm.

Your age at Conception

A mother's age at conception and the year of conception also helps determine the baby's gender. If both the year of conception and age of conception are even or odd, then it is a girl but if one number is even and the other is odd, it's a boy.

Acne Breakouts during pregnancy

If you are having a lot of acne breakouts during pregnancy, chances are your baby girl is stealing all your beauty leaving you with all the annoying zits.

You and your partners age

If you and your partner are more than 40 years old, you will most likely have a baby girl. This could be due to hormonal changes in your body and also due to the fact that you and your partner have less frequent sex.

Pregnancy Sickness

Severe pregnancy sickness, especially in the first trimester indicates you're having a baby girl.

There are many more pregnancy predictors which you can use to find out your baby's gender, such as whether you conceived in the tropics or anywhere else or if you conceived during summers or in the winter.

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Is Asthma Wrecking Your Sex Life?

If asthma—not romance—is taking your breath away, these three strategies can restore the fun

By Diane Kozak  

In a survey of 353 people with asthma, two-thirds revealed that breathing problems put a damper on their sex life.
While 47% reported some limitation in sexual functioning due to asthma, another 19% said that they had not had sex at all in the previous two weeks, according to research presented at the 96th International Conference of the American Thoracic Society. Researchers aren't certain why asthma reduced sexual activity, but they speculate that just as certain types of exercise can induce asthma symptoms, so can lovemaking.

Allergies and Asthma

Prevent or even reverse hundreds of conditions with delicious food!

"Sexual limitation remains an area of asthma-related quality-of-life that is often neglected. It's a well-kept secret," says lead researcher Ilan H. Meyer, PhD, assistant professor at the Joseph L. Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University in New York City. "The good news is, there's something you can do about it." Consider the following options before you get romantic: Change Positions
Certain positions may put more pressure on the chest, causing shortness of breath. Experiment with those that allow you to remain upright during sex.
Take Your Meds First
If you take medications (such as a bronchodilator) before engaging in other types of physical activity, check with your doctor about doing the same before having sex.
Tell Your Doctor
Whether you've been diagnosed with asthma or not, your doctor needs to know if breathing problems (shortness of breath, wheezing, or coughing) are putting the brakes on intimacy. This is important information in terms of prescribing the best treatment for you, says Dr. Meyer. Shy about discussing sex? Lead into it by talking about your general quality of life. "Sex is an indication of overall functioning and shouldn't be ignored," he says.

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3 Ways To Fall Back In Love

If you find yourself getting more irritated than infatuated with your partner, here's help

By Alisa Bowman  

Once you took pleasure in your partner's charms. Now, however, you mostly notice his irksome habits, like leaving banana peels on the armrest. Sound familiar?
Your problem: an admiration shortage, one that starves your relationship of love and causes you to become overly critical. "When you admire your spouse, you bathe your brain in mood-elevating chemicals, leading to a more positive relationship," says couples therapist Vagdevi Meunier, PsyD.
Here, three ways to rekindle affection and bring back that lovin' feeling.
1. Celebrate your partner's successes.
When you exclaim, "Wow, that's fantastic! I'm so happy for you!" instead of "That's nice—did you take out the trash?" you boost not only your partner's mood but also your own, shows research from UCLA. Why? Pausing to celebrate his success helps remind you of just how great your partner really is, which gives your feel-good chemicals a lift. 2. Say thanks with a story.
Some gestures of thanks can become so routine, they lose meaning. Adding a personal story, however, helps you mentally reinforce Wow, my partner is awesome. It's the difference between saying, "Thanks for unloading the dishwasher" and "I felt so loved when I saw that you unloaded the dishwasher to make my morning easier."
3. Critique that romantic comedy.
Couples who believe that romantic-themed shows are realistic are more likely to think about trading in their partners for shinier models, finds new research. Instead of lusting after the fairy tale, "appreciate the stable, simple gestures and conversations that make up the bulk of a relationship," says study author Jeremy L. Osborn, PhD.

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